I flunked the garbage test. Arriving home one evening my trash remained uncollected and a florescent green ticket was attached to the receptacle. It stated that my cart was not served because: "Cart is facing the wrong direction."
I was new to garbage, as my wife, who was visiting Outside, always took care of it. Still, I actually had put thought into the process. I got it out the night before so as not to miss pick-up and deliberately positioned the handles facing the road, believing that would be easier for the garbage collectors. Wrong.
The next week, now attempting to stuff two weeks worth of garbage into the can, I failed again. My garbage was rejected because "Lid is not completely closed."
In fairness, the municipality's Solid Waste Services does care. The last line on the ticket was "We apologize for any inconvenience." That was nice. Still, I'd have preferred a policy which left a 'friendly reminder' while taking the trash. I'm the customer, right?
I felt like I was living in a Seinfeld episode, remember the Soup Nazi? Clearly the city's solid waste collectors believed I adhered to their rules or got no service! Of course a restaurateur is in competition with others and if bad treatment overwhelms the desirability of his soup, his customers leave.
Where do rejected garbage customers go? To the dump, in their own car, paying for the privilege at the gate as they enter.
Just around this time a letter arrived addressed to me, but with the wrong address. Observant postal workers got it delivered anyway. They could have sent it back to teach the sender a lesson, but they didn't. I like the post office.
Also about then I got a call from the UAA parking authority. Sometime earlier I parked at a broken meter and left a note saying "the meter doesn't work, please have pity." Upon my return a parking ticket covered my note.
I felt wronged and sent the ticket back, pleading my case. A nice lady called and said they would forgive the ticket, but next time I should call the parking authority right away before leaving my car. I was grateful and didn't have the heart to tell her that I am one of those Neanderthals who doesn't carry a cell phone.
All the above, all interactions with government, came to mind when I read about the upcoming "ChoiceDialogues," the city budget sessions devised to include Anchorage residents.
The goal is to get regular people to weigh in on budget priorities; to go "beyond the usual suspects" of community activists for feedback. Good idea.
Hopefully part of these discussions will be how to quantify and measure the services government is providing. Some people would probably be less hostile to the costs of government if they saw in concrete measures what is provided. Maybe others would be less dogmatic about their pet projects if they understood the tradeoffs involved in providing them and saw a measurement of what they actually accomplish.
There's a useful trick to improving things: keep score. Is measuring government difficult? Sure, but measures can be found and they should be citizen (customer) centric.
When asked to name some achievements in office, Indiana's Governor Mitch Daniels mentioned that the average wait time at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles had fallen to under nine minutes. Is this the only way to measure the BMV? No. But, it sure is an important one for their customers.
Once measurements are formulated, the government should ask its customers how it's doing. Phone or mail surveys could be designed and regularly reviewed to see what progress has been made from the citizen's vantage point.
Is it fun getting measured or rated? No. But, good report cards produce pride and even fans. A lot to ask for government? Perhaps. But, if government is measured by how it delivers service, not by how well it produces conformity, at least the garbage would always be collected.
Jeff Pantages is an investment adviser. He lives in Anchorage.
By JEFF PANTAGES