OPINION: Let’s talk about the realities of adoption

For Alaska mom Jen, adoption was an integral part of forming her family. When she reflects on the process, though, there were a few surprises along the way. Jen recalls driving back after her adoption was finalized after nine months of paperwork, visits from caseworkers, transition and thinking, “We’re finally done.” But there was a nagging thought in the back of her head — a voice that kept saying, “This is just the beginning.” Many people think of adoption as a moment of celebration, the start of a new chapter or story in a child’s life, but it’s so much bigger than that. Adoption often includes the long-lasting impact of trauma or grief faced by the adoptee earlier in life, as well as their healing process and the shared journey of building a supportive home.

November is National Adoption Month, set aside to recognize, celebrate and support families who have chosen to adopt a child. Additionally, it promotes awareness of the 3,000 children in foster care in Alaska, many of whom are currently eligible for adoption.

Adoptive families are unique and special and rely on the work of family members to build the trust and ties that make them strong. While adoption is something to be celebrated in many cases, we must also respectfully acknowledge that there is no adoption that is not based on a loss for the adoptee. That’s why it’s critical for Alaskans to encourage and assist in developing strong, trauma-informed, and culturally relevant support systems for families. When created with intention, these systems provide the necessary resources and skills for families to grow together, addressing the impacts of past trauma early on.

Fortunately for Alaskans looking to adopt, foster or provide kinship care, there are a multitude of resources — from Facing Foster Care to Alaska Adoption Services to Northwest Regional Relative and Kinship Providers to the Alaska Center for Resource Families and many more. But in addition to the work of organizations, adoptive and kinship families need support from individuals. Alaskans should be aware of the unique challenges associated with adoption, the many ways that, if done successfully and ethically, it can positively impact children, and how we as individuals and a community can help. This month calls adoption to our attention, but adoptive families need our support all year long. Think of your own life; is there a family you know that has chosen to grow through adoption, fostering, or kinship care? How can you best support them?

There are many ways that you can help celebrate and support National Adoption Month with your family:

1) Support adoptive families you know by bringing them a meal or offering to babysit.

2) Talk to your family about what adoption means.

3) Watch movies about adoption. A couple of our favorite adoption movies are “Instant Family” and “Meet the Robinsons.”

4) Read books about adoption or stories of youth who were adopted.

5) Volunteer at or donate to a local adoption organization.

6) Discuss if your family would consider growing through adoption or fostering.

7) Assist foster alumni and adoptees with events, programs, and informational sessions that encourage their perspectives on policy-making and programs intended for them.

8) Reach out to local Tribal or BIPOC entities, providers or community leaders to consult on cultural support systems relevant to the adoptee.

9) Be active in trainings and classes designed to support foster children, adoptees, and adoptive parents.

10) Be active in advocating on issues that affect children and families in your community.

Tami Watson, executive director, and Victoria Ross, deputy director, co-founded Alaska Adoption Services in 2019 as the only domestic infant adoption agency in Alaska.

Autumn Smith-Amy owns Northwest Regional Relative and Kinship Providers, a five-state advocacy group that focuses on family preservation, BIPOC community stability, cultural support, and kinship families for BIPOC families in active CINA (Child In Need of Aid) cases.

Kaila Pfister is the Director of Communications at the Alaska Children’s Trust (ACT), the lead statewide agency that addresses the prevention of child abuse and neglect. Since its conception, ACT has led the way in building awareness, providing education and bringing communities together statewide to prevent child abuse and neglect through supporting upstream efforts.

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