#MeToo includes too many children; we all need to look out for them

Over the past several months, #MeToo has awaken individuals, families, and communities around the world about sexual assault and harassment.  Recent media reports are filled with allegations against Hollywood celebrities and elected officials.  Since the hashtag has gone viral, millions of people have used it to come forward sharing their experiences, both as an adult and/or as a child.

In April of this year, Olympic gold medalist Aly Raisman added to that conversation when she shared her own story on "60 Minutes" — speaking out against the sexual abuse she experienced as a child at the hands of former U.S. Olympic team doctor Dr. Larry Nassar.  Many other individuals who posted their "Me Too" stories shared how they were sexually abused as a child as well.  All of these stories highlight the importance of sexual abuse prevention programs and the need to teach young children about personal body safety.

These personal and vulnerable stories have created a lot of conversations about this issue online, in the paper or at the watercooler.  Many people are asking how they can help protect our children.  One of the first steps is knowing the data.  The majority of children who were sexually abused were victimized by someone they knew very well.  The old adage, "Stranger Danger" is incorrect.  We need to ensure we provide the right information and tools to our children to handle not only when some stranger approaches them inappropriately but also when a trusted adult does as well.  Parents are encouraged to:

[Secrets of abuse in Alaska need telling; abused need healing]

• Engage in direct dialogue with your children

• Ensure that your young children know the proper words for their body parts and understand that there are certain parts of their body that are private.

• Answer questions your children have about their bodies honestly, and make sure they know that they can talk to you about anything that is bothering them.

• When your children are older, have conversations about healthy sexuality and what respectful romantic relationships look like.

• Teach children about secrets

• Make sure your children understand what a secret is, and what kinds of secrets are OK to keep, like birthday presents, and what kinds are not.

•Ensure children know that no adult should ever tell them to keep a secret from you.

• Talk about their rights

• Talk about when is it okay for a child to say no to an adult, even if that adult is an relative or trusted friend.

• Let them know that they don't have to hug someone if they don't feel comfortable. It is okay to give a handshake, a high five,  or a fist bump.

• Learn about and advocate for institutional policies

• Inquire about the policies for background checks with the care providers you use, such as babysitters and childcare or after-school program staff.

[Voices must be heard, even after storyteller's child sexual abuse charges]

But you don't have to be a parent to help tackle this issue. By knowing and recognizing the warning signs of child sexual abuse, you can help protect children in your community. Warning signs of child sexual abuse include:

•  Inappropriate knowledge of sexual behavior for their age level,

• Sexually explicit drawings,

• Highly sexualized play (e.g., simulated intercourse with toys, pets or other children),

• A child being fearful of a specific person or place,

• A decrease in academic performance.

As an adult who is around children regularly, whether you're a coach or a teacher, it is critical that if you suspect abuse that you make a report to the authorities by calling the Alaska report line at 800-478-4444.

Most importantly, when a child shares a story about an inappropriate encounter, believe them.  Many victims recount the time they tried to share their story with an adult and the adult made an excuse for the perpetrator or ignored it completely.  It is important to validate the child and notify the appropriate authorities to ensure the validity of the information is investigated appropriately.

All of these stories, media reports and discussions have brought more light to an issue that has plagued our communities for way too long.  Due to the nature of the topic, it can be very difficult for a victim to step forward and share their story or a community member to intervene.  The more we all acknowledge and accept these responsibilities, the greater chance we have to change the current trend.   As the old proverb says, "It takes a village to raise a child."

Trevor Storrs is executive director of the Alaska Children's Trust (ACT), the lead statewide agency that addresses the prevention of child abuse and neglect.

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