My dear Alaskans, there are only two Sundays left. This isn't a doomsday prediction. There will be Sundays to come – months of them, but I found out from email this week that there are only two Sundays left to encourage my preacher or board of elders to mention from the pulpit to sign a petition in the church foyer to get something on the ballot. Oh, darlings, the pressure is on. I feel it.
The email stated, "This is a wonderful opportunity for the church to not only participate, as it should, in shaping public policy in a manner that is consistent with God's created order. " Praise the Lord and pass the punch! Finally! Churches are realizing they have a place in creating laws just like the separation of church and state forgot to mention! What could they possibly find in the Holy Scripture to weigh in on in such a poignant way as collecting thousands of signatures for a ballot initiative? I know you're probably thinking the same thing I was even if your favorite book of the Bible isn't Matthew like it is mine.
Maybe something from the Sermon on the Mount. Oh, glory could it be something about the peacemakers because they haven't really been focused on a lot. Perhaps it's a ballot initiative saying health care is important and we should protect and expand affordable access to doctors, not deplete it. That would really be appropriate since so many of the miracles of Christ were to heal people. Could there be an outside chance that we'd be voting on a city wide excess food collection or mandatory gardens for the hungry? Jesus wasn't vague about our call to feed the poor. He was specific and even worked up a lunch for 5,000 with a few fishes and a couple of loaves. There wasn't even an admonishment of, "And next time you come hear the Messiah speak you'll think and pack a lunch." What a great guy. I mean it. That wasn't sarcastic. I have such a high opinion of the teachings and life of Jesus I often expect more from folks who say they work for him.
[Anchorage initiative aims to limit bathroom, lockerroom use to gender on birth certificate]
Sorry. All those miracles of Jesus, none of which were to make any gay people straight, have been lost on the posers over at Alaska Family Action. When they look around the city of Anchorage they don't see the problems of homelessness, addiction, domestic violence, potholes or panhandlers. Their priority is where people go potty. This is ballot bait to try to get people frothed up about their issue to show up and vote for conservatives running for office.
"It is also imperative for the Body of Christ to speak truth into a fallen world that has embraced an ideology that gender is fluid and can be changed," they write. Well, this is a big shocker. The "fallen world" that believes gender is "fluid" includes people who study halibut. Halibut can change their gender from male to female at about 60 pounds. As the old bumper sticker states, "God Don't Make Junk" and halibut are a long way from junk. OK, I digress. I also just won a bet that I couldn't include halibut in a column about hypocritical people who use their faith as a weapon against humans that Jesus also loves.
[Bathroom initiative can head to Anchorage ballot if it gets enough signatures]
AFA also included a list of talking points. They need to because most of us use public bathrooms to well, you know, relieve ourselves. First they state that "it's common sense protections for all Alaskans." Blah, blah, blah. All of them except trans citizens who need to use the restroom. "No one, including the city of Anchorage, should expect young girls to undress and be exposed to members of the opposite sex in intimate settings like restrooms, showers and locker rooms." I have never thought of a restroom as "intimate." That's just weird. "Men and Boys shouldn't be given access to girls' locker rooms …" Does this really need to be a law? It's very gender-specific as though they don't think males can control any temptation if they actually see a female body. Quick question: Who is going to enforce this law? Will we have bathroom monitors checking people's genitalia to make sure they are endowed with what the sign on the door says? Who wants that job? A pervert. That's who. That's who you need to worry about, not if someone sits or stands to urinate.
Here's a suggestion. If your church asks you to sign something that targets any portion of our population – including a very vulnerable group like the trans community – find a new church. Find one that is caring and nurturing every human — like the man they claim to follow.
Shannyn Moore is a radio broadcaster.
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