Donald Trump is obsessed with size. Obsessed.
For months, the Republican front-runner has endlessly bragged about the size of his crowds, poll results, personal wealth and any other number he can use to measure himself against his rivals. He often exaggerates, although he swears his measurements are precise and verified. At times the 2016 campaign has felt like, well, a measuring contest in a high school boys' locker room.
"I have the biggest crowds, and I have the biggest polls," Trump declared in a Today Show interview in August.
As he celebrated winning South Carolina, he bragged: "I went to Mobile, Alabama - 35,000 people. We went to Oklahoma recently, twice - 20,000 people, 20,000 people. No matter where we go we fill up the arenas. Over here the other day we had a 9,000 - we had a 10,000 - we have people. The only thing that stops the crowds are the walls because we can't get them in. We have to send thousands of people away." (Most of those numbers are a bit higher than what local officials have given.)
During the December GOP debate, Trump mocked former Florida governor Jeb Bush for pretending to be "a tough guy" and for saying that Trump could never be president.
"I'm at 42, and you're at 3," Trump said. "So, so far, I'm doing better."
It was really only a matter of time before this became an actual measuring contest of actual male genitalia. And, in fairness to Trump, Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla., started it.
Trump - a 69-year-old testosterone-heavy guy who wrestled in high school and participated in a 2007 pro-wrestling match - has endlessly attacked Rubio, 44, for profusely sweating, needing a sip of water while giving a high-profile rebuttal to the State of the Union address in 2013, and for being "weak like a baby." Trump has dubbed Rubio a "lightweight" and a "choker" and, at least once, "a lightweight choker." His newest nickname for the senator: "Little Rubio."
Rubio reacted to the belittling label by accusing Trump of having small hands. Yes, small hands.
"You know what they say about men with small hands," Rubio said at a rally in Virginia on Sunday, pausing to let the audience laugh. "You can't trust 'em."
Wink, wink. Trump has long been sensitive about the length of his fingers, and he quickly jumped to defend himself. Rubio's use of personal insults - something he had sworn he would not do because it's beneath the office and would disappoint his kids - came up during the Thursday night debate. Trump weighed in as well.
"I have to say this, I have to say this: He hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I have never heard of this. Look at those hands. Are they small hands?" Trump said, as the crowd laughed. "And he referred to my hands, if they are small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there is no problem. I guarantee."
One of the moderators quickly cut in: "OK, moving on."