We received more emails and comments about the guy ready to leave the state than any column in recent memory.
It got us thinking: Is it really so tough to find love in Alaska? I can only speak from personal experience -- I've lived in Alaska and the Lower 48 and haven't been too unlucky in either place. But I will say the dating pool is certainly larger Outside, which gives you an arguably higher chance of meeting someone you're compatible with.
It also reduces the likelihood of those oh-crap-there's-my-ex moments, which only occur more and more frequently when you've been single in a smallish town for any length of time. I've heard girlfriends bemoan the online dating scene in Anchorage, where they recognize too many of the men who post profiles. It's too awkward for it to be worthwhile, they say.
Will Clueless Alaskan Man find love by moving out of state? Maybe. But certainly not only by virtue of moving out of state. If you have other problems preventing you from finding the one, those will follow you wherever you go. Best to take stock, ask yourself the hard questions and answer them honestly before making that leap.
Perhaps you aren't so clueless after all, Clueless Alaskan Man. Your recent letter about the struggles of finding the right woman in Alaska nailed a few hot dating topics and really got our readers going on the stereotypes and realities of Alaska's women and men; the pros and cons of our love landscape; and even our state's male-to-female ratio and "odds are good, goods are odd" legend.
Despite some Alaskans' best attempts to create a smaller, colder version of Everywhere U.S.A. here (Have you seen the lines at Olive Garden? Get a life and some taste, people! Seriously), Alaska lifestyles remain unique. And yes, this means some aspects of dating and relationships are different here too.
Full disclosure: I am habitually and perpetually single, and I've lived in Alaska my whole life. And after a few weeks of thinking about your letter, my response to it and the responses your note received from others, I started wondering if maybe I wasn't the best person to offer advice on whether you should stay here or leave. But then I thought that maybe that made me the perfect person to weigh in.
Yes, we Alaskans are quirky sorts -- men and women alike. Yes, dating is a jungle here, and at times a cold, desolate one, at that. But ultimately, I know that amazing, lovable and available people live here. And I believe that love and romance, happiness and relationships are readily available here, just like anywhere else. They happen every day for those who try really, really hard and for those who are totally clueless but totally lucky.
I simply don't believe you've given yourself the best chance to succeed here or anywhere else. I stand by my evaluation that your dating problem is less about Alaska and the women you're trying to woo and more about the image you project and the way in which you try to woo women.
But good luck, wherever you land.
Readers respond
Wayne and Wanda,
With all due respect, I don't think it's "Clueless Alaska Man" (let's call him Cam), it's the Alaska culture. Most single women in Alaska aren't looking to stay. They are looking for fun or to make some money and then to get the hell out. Most every woman who intends on staying is either already married or doesn't want to get married. Many women come up on vacation and check out the single scene, with husbands or boyfriends back home. The joke is on the Cams of the world who happen upon such women.
Look at what happened in the Linehan case -- Kent Leppink so desperately wanted to find a woman to settle down with that it cost him his life. Granted, he was looking for love in all the wrong places, but where is one to look? Linehan wanted no part of moving into a cabin someplace out in the boonies. She was destined for a much better life.
Comparing high school classmates who have left versus the ones who have stayed, the ones who left are far more successful and much happier when it comes to their marriages. The only thing the ones who have left miss is the snow, which this year we seem to have way too much of.
I know of more couples who lived here for their five-year "been there, done that, got the T-shirt" tour than couples who still live here.
Einstein defines insanity as doing the same thing day after day expecting a different result. Cam has done the same thing for years and nothing is changing. To tell him to hang on a little longer is not only contrary to Einstein's logic, it's bordering on cruel. It's time for him to listen to his instincts and follow his heart. He may even find a nice woman outside of Alaska who wants to move here, but I would advise she spend a Christmas vacation here first.
-- CB
He needs to go. Alaska is different, when it comes to dating. I did the same four years ago. Never looked back. He might need to change, but he will figure it out eventually.
-- LuciaBell
Have him post his pic ... and I will give you some feedback!
-- LD
• Wanda is a wise person who has loved, lost and been to therapy. Wayne is a wise guy who has no use for therapy. Send them your questions and thoughts at wanda@adn.com.