I never got onto the "Joe Six-Pack" bandwagon in the presidential campaign. If you ask me, the only Joe worth talking about comes in a giant mug with a bit of milk -- and the only six-pack worth attention nestles against the egg carton in my refrigerator.
Joe Six-Pack made a raucous appearance on the national stage nonetheless; I guess some folks make waves, and others ignore them. I tend to ignore them.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to ignore the waves of people crowding into Egan Center for the 14th Annual Great Alaska Beer & Barley Wine Festival this weekend. Believe it or not, this year's notoriously lively event features none other than ... Joe Sixpack.
You may think you know the guy -- sagging jeans, a tad wide in the middle, drives a extra-long cab truck with the Palin/McCain bumper sticker -- but the Joe meandering about the Egan today and Saturday hails from Philadelphia and writes about beer. Turns out that Don Russell, aka Joe Sixpack (www.joesixpack.net), makes appearances at beer halls and events everywhere.
So let's give Joe something to shout about, and I don't mean dancing nude on a Hummer limo. Well, maybe I do mean that, but my better sense tells me to take the higher ground in newsprint.
So let's wow him with Alaska-made beers like Snow Angel Barley Wine and Smoked Russian Imperial Stout from Kassik's Kenai Brew Stop. Or the 2008 Arctic Devil Barley Wine and oak-aged Berserker Imperial Stout from Midnight Sun Brewing Co. of Anchorage. Or even the auspicious Alaska Statehood Mead and stunningly tasty 2006 Local Tart Cherry Reserve from Ring of Fire Meadery of Homer.
Some of these fine brews and meads -- like beer made specifically for the festival by Alaskan Brewing Co. -- will only get poured during the connoisseur session Saturday afternoon.
"I cannot tell you what it is," said Jon Blakely via e-mail, who added, "I know that sucks but thought it might be cool to generate some additional excitement by not telling people what the beers are going to be."
Now that's what I'm talking about because real, die-hard beer drinkers want something mysterious, challenging, maybe even coy and most definitely not assumed. Give us bold hops and layers of oak. Give us complex malt bills and tantalizing spices. Give us beer that makes Joe Connoisseur say, "Yes, I will."
Really, anything poured during the connoisseur shindig will put some crackle in your step, but plenty of other brews will keep Joe Cheapskate nourished, and nourished well. Alaskan Brewing will serve barley wine throughout the festival, and so will all the local and most of the visiting breweries. As a bonus, Joe Reveler will find Alaskan's wit beer on tap long before it gets officially released in March.
In addition to supplying a smattering of his own Midnight Sun beers, brewer Gabe Fletcher helped a friend from Ballast Point Brewing put together a booth of San Diego beers. The lineup includes Ballast Point Sculpin IPA, Three Sheets Blended Barley Wine (a blend made from 2002, 2007 and 2008 batches of barley wine) and Black Marlin Porter.
The list continues with head turners like San Diego Brewing Co.'s Hopnotic IPA, Port Brewing Carlsbad Hop Suey and Green Flash Barley Wine aged in bourbon barrels.
The choices go well beyond Joe Bladder's capacity with more than 100 pale beers, dark beers, rich beers, evil beers, strange beer and just plain beer.
Several local businesses always join the bacchanalian beer rush by putting on beer dinners, beer parties and beer sales.
At La Bodega liquor store in University Center (3801 Old Seward Highway, 569-3800), anyone who brings proof that they attended the event, by which I mean a tasting glass, ticket stub, program, T-shirt or beer stampede-related shoulder injury, will receive a 15 percent discount on whatever they buy that day. Remember, you only get the deal once, but you've got all month to take advantage of it.
The six staff members at La Bodega will also put together a variety six-pack of their favorite beers.
Meanwhile, Cafe Amsterdam in Metro Mall (530 E. Benson Blvd., Suite 3, 274-0074) and Humpy's Great Alaskan Alehouse (610 W. Sixth Ave., 276-2337) will keep their tap towers loaded with great global brews. Amsterdam will serve ales like the 2006 and 2007 Alaskan Smoked Porter, Meantime IPA, Midnight Sun Saturn, ®North Coast Rasputin and a bevy of selections from Kodiak Island Brewing Co.
I hear Joe Sixpack of Philly claims to come from the best beer-drinking city in America. I won't argue with that, but I dare say folks from his neck of the woods would balk at 40 below at just about the time Joe Growler hops on his bike for a refill.
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[ With Dawnell Smith ]