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The hour I spent with the 26-year-old having job troubles felt like 10 hours. “Jack’s” dad had asked me to talk with his son as a favor. “He can’t find the right job. He’s had a run of bad luck. Can you help him? Please?”
Jack explained he’d been laid off from his first job during the pandemic, got caught up in the hiring frenzy that came after, but then never found the “right job.” He’d had four. “You just can’t trust a boss,” he said. He told me how each of his bosses had lied to him, had made promises but never kept them.
Jack had a new job, but didn’t plan to go the extra mile in it, because “why bother?” When I asked him if some of his colleagues worked hard, he said, “The ones who do burn out.”
Jack had also given up forming friendships with coworkers. When I asked why, he said that they said one thing to him in private but sang a different tune when talking to their boss. Besides, he said, “Half of them will be gone within the year, to new jobs.”
“So, you don’t want to believe in a boss’s lies. You don’t want to form coworker friendships because they’ll leave. You don’t want to give your all at work and burn yourself out. Is that an accurate summary?” I asked.
After Jack told me yes, he sat back, looking smug. He felt he’d transferred his problem to me and asked, “So what’s what the magic bullet?”
But the problem wasn’t mine to fix; it was Jack’s. For whatever reason, maybe bad management or perhaps his own unwillingness to give new situations and people a chance, Jack had mired himself in cynicism. So have an astounding number of employees. According to Gallup’s 2024 State of the Global Workplace survey, 48% of current employees qualify as somewhat cynical. The picture others see when they view these employees includes “demotivation, pessimism, giving up, disengagement, indifference, hopelessness, anger, numbness, underperformance, feeling stuck, or a loss of trust.”
The toll on individuals who allow cynicism to take root can be devastating. Actions that might bring energy and new hope seem fruitless to the cynic, and the cynic sinks further into negativity. If cynicism was a pill, no one would swallow it, knowing it was poison. But Jack had. So, I told him what he already knew and asked him a question. “You don’t try to make things better, because then you won’t feel bad when your efforts don’t succeed. You’ve decided it’s easier to give up than to try. That keeps you from losing. What do you win?”
He didn’t have an answer. The truth? Cynics don’t win. Research has found “cynics earn less money, report lower job satisfaction, and are less likely to be elevated to leadership positions.”
I told Jack he had a choice. He didn’t have to believe in others. He needed to restore his belief in himself. “If working for someone else isn’t working for you, work for yourself. Start your own business. Don’t you have a dream of something you want to accomplish? Or do you want to keep doing the bare minimum, which won’t work for your employer, and won’t work for you either?”
My “this is on you” message got through to Jack. He started an online business where he answers to himself.
Here’s the truth: Cynicism is toxic. If you’ve fallen into cynicism, kick it to the curb.