The 45 definitive rules of hotels

Hotels say they want you to feel at home, but hospitality has its limits. A reservation is not a property takeover.

It’s your vacation, so go ahead and break some of your own house rules. But if you want to be an upstanding guest and expert traveler, you still need to follow the main tenets of a hotel stay.

We compiled a list of tips that cover every step of the experience. We also included some general decorum reminders, so that when the staff tells you to come back soon, they really mean it.

Don’t fall for fake reviews

AI-generated room photos. Reviews written by bots. The internet is making it easier than ever to dupe travelers who do the majority of their research online. Before you lock in a reservation, shop around on multiple booking and review sites, and beware of suspiciously glowing or repetitive feedback.

Book at the source

When you book a room through a third-party site, the hotel has to pay them commission. Cut out the middle man, and you may be able to negotiate a better deal. Experts say hotel rates may be more flexible than you think. Sign up for the hotel’s loyalty program, too. You might find lower prices, even if you haven’t built up status.

But stalk prices, cancel and rebook to save

Hotel prices are dynamic. High rates one day can plummet the next. If the property doesn’t require payment up front to hold a reservation, wait to pay until check-in, then keep checking the price on the website. If you spot a drop, cancel your reservation and rebook the lower fare. Make sure the cancellation policy allows you to do so without a charge before you proceed.

Gambling is encouraged

Want to roll the dice with a guaranteed discount as the reward? Try cheap booking sites that won’t confirm the name of the hotel until you lock down your reservation. It’s a good option for flexible deal hunters, but bad for travelers with a strong desire for control. Fair warning: Don’t expect refunds if your plans change.

Fight resort fees at all turns

Like a shifty character in a true-crime novel, these fees often hide in the shadows and go by several aliases: resort, amenity, facility or destination. Some hotels also tack on a “room safe fee,” though the charge for having a safety box in your room is significantly less (a couple of dollars a day) than the amenity fee.

If the charges seem excessive or deceptive, contact the hotel to broker a deal or book elsewhere.

Never turn down DIY waffles

Who doesn’t love free breakfast? Even those who don’t can choose from the muffins, bananas, oatmeal or, if they’re very lucky, made-to-order omelets at hotels offering a complimentary breakfast. It may not be the finest of dining, but free still tastes pretty good.

When you arrive, unload and go …

Unless your family name is Hilton or Marriott, don’t treat the entryway like your private driveway. Quickly unload the contents of your car - people and luggage - and move along. Turning on your hazards does not give you permission to ignore the time limit and wander off to the lobby bar. Also, leave enough room for other cars and wide-bodied pieces of luggage to pass.

… unless you drive a Lambo

One exception to the no idling rule: You drive a Lamborghini or a vintage Rolls-Royce. Many hotels will be thrilled to class up the joint with your status-symbol wheels.

Tip the valet right away

When you hand over your keys (not toss), tip your valet attendant. The more you look after them, the more they look after you - or in this case, your car. Etiquette expert and author David Coggins says the exact size of the tip depends on how long you’re staying, but generally he goes with $10 on arrival and $10 when he leaves. For a shorter stay, $5 and $5 is appropriate.

Don’t forget the bellhop

A $10 tip is appropriate at a luxury joint, where a bellhop may help you unpack or share helpful details about the room and hotel. If they just help you with your luggage, a couple bucks will do.

Shop around for parking

Whether you valet or self-park, your car’s overnight accommodations can be pricey, especially in urban centers. Consider cheaper options within walking distance of the hotel, such as metered street parking (evenings and Sundays are often free) or 24-hour garages. To locate a spot and snag a discounted rate, try an app like SpotHero and ParkWhiz.

IRL check-in is so last century

At many hotels, there’s no real reason to check in at the front desk except maybe to grab a freshly baked cookie. To speed up the arrival process, use the hotel’s app or lobby kiosk, which may grant you additional powers, such as choosing your own room, printing a key card and requesting extra pillows. Even better: Employ your phone as a digital key.

Ask about removing that resort fee

When checking in, politely ask the front desk if they can remove the resort fee. Have some reasons ready, such as you are arriving so late and leaving so early, you won’t be able to take advantage of the amenities covered by the fee. If the employee refuses, don’t push it, but do use the jacuzzi and the in-room phone; you’re paying for the perks.

Sweet talk your way into an upgrade

Hotel upgrade systems can be as complicated as the ones for airlines. Particularly at properties with big brand names, the front desk has to factor in loyalty program membership or whether you booked with a corporate partner to determine upgrade eligibility.

However, it never hurts to ask, even if you don’t have Platinum Elite Status. You might not go from a basic room to a presidential suite, but you may score a perk - like a bottle of wine in your room - if you’re nice about it.

You know the drill: Have your ID and credit cards ready

Hotels always want to see a picture ID, plus a credit card for incidentals, so keep both handy. Everyone - the staff, the people behind you in line, the family member who needs to pee - will appreciate your efficiency.

Be nice, even when you’re complaining

No matter the gravity of the issue, use a calm, yoga instructor voice when sharing your grievances with the hotel staff, who, may we remind you, did not make the rules. If you need to raise your voice, save it for the sports bar.

The luggage cart is not yours

Luggage carts are a community perk, not your personal rolling bellhop. First, ask an employee if you can borrow it. Then, quickly pile your luggage onboard, zip up to your room without stopping at the vending machine and unload your gear. Return the cart immediately and in the same parking area, so the next guest can find it, use it, return it.

No suitcases on the bed. It’s gross.

Sure, the bed’s the most convenient place to pack and unpack. But did you stop to think about what your wheels have rolled through? Use the luggage rack. Or an ironing board. Or even the bathtub.

Don’t sleep with bedbugs

Before settling in, inspect the favorite haunts of your least favorite bed mates. Search for bedbug marks, such as reddish stains or dark spots, on the mattresses and linens, couch and chairs, curtains and other spots where the biting buggers like to hide out. If you see any evidence, snap a photo and report to the front desk pronto.

Master the complicated hotel shower

Before you get too cozy, learn the ins and outs of your room. You don’t want to have to fumble in the dark for the light switch, wrestle with the hydra shower head or rip out the beeping alarm clock at 4 a.m. If you need a tutorial, call during humane hours, not after all the bars have closed.

Block all the tiny blinking lights

Maybe you can sleep soundly with a million lights shining in your face. Or maybe that sounds like a recipe for insomnia. Check for light leakage before you hit that comfy hotel bed for the night. If you really require total darkness, use electrical tape to cover small lights. A rolled and well-placed towel can do wonders for under-door light spillage. And recall the internet’s favorite hanger-on-the-curtains hack to fully block the windows.

The hotel robe is not a souvenir

Your hotel room may be full of amenities to make your stay more cozy: a soft robe, the plush pillows, the comfy comforter. Leave them there. Hoteliers say guests have tried to pilfer just about everything, but only a few small knickknacks - pens, mini lotions and postcards - are meant to be taken.

Don’t touch the minibar unless you’re a billionaire

What’s more satisfying than a $6 Diet Coke or $13 M & M’s? Your hotel might offer artisanal snacks or locally sourced booze - but the convenience is still going to cost you. There’s a cheaper option, and it’s called the drugstore.

Yes, there’s housekeeping, but don’t be a pig

Clean up for housekeeping, but don’t do their job (i.e. making the bed or scrubbing countertops). Trash goes in the can. Take-out gets tossed. Used towels go in the bathroom.

Enough with the TikTok barricades

Safety first, yes. But you probably don’t need a 10-step booby-trap system to protect yourself in your hotel, as viral videos on TikTok might suggest. This is a hotel, not Home Alone.

Bathroom privacy is sacred

Many hotel bathrooms feel like peep shows with curtains, fogged glass or blinds replacing opaque doors. Give your bunkmate some privacy by stepping onto the balcony. Or, if they need more time, go hang out in the lobby. If nature suddenly calls, you can duck into a fully discreet public bathroom.

Keep it down

Absolutely no one wants to hear your loud movie, stomping or what you and your partner are doing in the sheets. People are trying to sleep.

The coffee pot is not a washing machine

You are staying in a hotel room, not the Frontier House. You have modern conveniences, like a Starbucks in the lobby, DoorDash on your phone and Amazon for ordering underwear if you run out. We don’t care what you’ve seen on TikTok; don’t use the coffee pot to cook a meal or launder your briefs. It’s there for making bad coffee. That’s it.

There’s no such thing as bad room service

Order room service if you must - especially the fries - but don’t get your hopes too high. Frequent travelers have described their in-room dining as “underwhelming,” exorbitantly priced and possibly even repackaged pasta from Trader Joe’s. This is the bargain we make for convenience.

No one wants to see you in a towel

When housekeeping or room service knocks, don’t answer in flasher attire. Leave the towel on the hook and slip into something a bit more respectable, such as a hoodie blanket or tightly cinched robe.

Tip housekeeping daily

Leave a tip for housekeeping before heading out for the day instead of depositing a lump sum at the end of your stay. Staff schedules rotate, and employees take time off, so this will ensure that the person who cleaned your room receives the gratuity.

Don’t hog the pool chairs. You know who you are.

Think you’ll drape a towel over a pool lounger first thing in the morning and return to it hours later? Think again. Some hotels set time limits for how long you can leave a chair unattended, but even if they don’t, an etiquette expert suggests a two-hour maximum.

No one wants to hear your Spotify playlist

Think you’ve crafted the perfect pool-day mix? Great. Listen to it - on headphones. Nobody else asked to hear your tunes.

Don’t be a hot mess at the bar

True, you’re on vacation and you don’t have to drive home, but that doesn’t give you license to be loud, drunk, demanding and/or creepy in the hotel bar. Be polite to the bartender and respectful of the other patrons, because you might end up sharing a wall with them.

The lobby is not your living room

Work from the lobby if you’re craving a background buzz. Check out the art or coffee shop. But draw the line at kicking off your shoes, sleeping on the couch or spreading your meal all over the little tables.

Hotel breakfasts are one meal, not your daily three

You’ve scored a free breakfast. Don’t abuse it. You can sample from each bowl and chafing dish, but do not pile up the food on multiple plates as if you were circus act. Returning for seconds is acceptable, as is throwing an orange or muffin in your bag. But leave the reusable takeout containers and empty coffee thermos in the room.

Adult supervision is required at the buffet

We don’t know where your kids’ hands have been, but you do. While we’re on the subject of parenting, don’t park your kids in the hotel gym, either. The treadmill isn’t your babysitter.

Normal gym rules apply

Wipe down machines after use. Don’t hog equipment. Keep sprawl to a minimum.

This is a no-barking zone

If your dog barks like a seal during mating season, leave him at home.

Plead for a late checkout, but not too early

You can request a late checkout anytime, but it’s often best to wait till closer to your departure day, when the hotel knows the occupancy rate. Call or stop by the front desk and be prepared to negotiate. Don’t stay past checkout time without informing an employee, or you might discover an hourly or partial-rate charge on your bill.

Triple-check the safe on the way out

The hotel safe begets an “out of sight, out of mind” issue. Stop yourself from leaving anything behind - passports, wallet - by locking one or both shoes inside so you’re forced to remember valuables, unless you’re prone to going barefoot.

Checking out is obsolete

Skip the front desk, and the sometimes long checkout queue, and peace out through the hotel’s app, in-room entertainment system or express drop-off box. To show your appreciation without slowing down, wave and mouth “thank you” on the way out.

Yes, they want your key back

As far as souvenirs go, plastic room keys rank pretty low. So make sure to leave all copies behind - on your dresser, in a drop-off box or at the front desk. The property can reuse the card, so it hopefully won’t end up inside the belly of whale.

Seriously, ask about that resort fee

It doesn’t hurt to ask one final time. To boost your chances, mention any amenities unavailable during your stay, such as a fitness center closed for maintenance or a fleet of bikes with deflated tires. If you are still incensed, follow Kill Resort Fee’s advice and file a complaint with your district attorney.

Love it or hate it, leave a review

Pay it forward by sharing an honest appraisal of your visit on a review site such as Tripadvisor and social media. Future guests will be forever grateful and, depending on your critique, the hotel will be, too.

Hannah Sampson, Natalie Compton and Andrea Sachs write for By the Way, The Washington Post’s travel destination.