Wayne and Wanda: I’d love to get a puppy, but at 70, I fear it might become another’s burden

Dear Wayne and Wanda,

I am struggling with a decision and could use advice. For many decades, I’ve had dogs in the house. Always poodles, as I’m allergic. Usually they were six to eight years apart so there was a natural rotation of having a young dog and a middle-aged dog that would then grow into a middle-aged dog and older dog; and when the older dog passed, after I’d had time to process and properly mourn, I would start the process of getting a new puppy from the breeder.

Most recently, my older dog died last year. I have a 7-year-old dog now. I recently celebrated my 70th birthday. The breeder I’ve gone through for years is retiring but has one last litter and asked if I’d like a puppy.

In my heart, I do. I think the dog I have now has been sad and somewhat depressed since our elder dog passed and having a new dog would be good for her. It would be good for me too. I enjoy having two dogs in the home. I live alone and dogs are such great companions. I am healthy for my age and my dogs always get lots of walks and activity. I also recently retired so I have time to train a puppy.

But my big holdup is my age. I turned 70 last year. My grown children live out of state. I would hate for my pets to burden them. I worry that I might not outlive this dog (you never know) and then who would take care of them? What if my health takes a turn and I don’t have the energy for walks anymore? Is it irresponsible of me to take on a new puppy at this point in my life? My daughter-in-law got in my head about it. She said, “I’m surprised you’d take on a new dog at your age.” Now I’m doubting myself. What are your thoughts?

Wanda says:

Doggone naysayers are keeping you from realizing your puppy love! What I see here is a person (you!) who has taken care of others for many years (your kids and dogs!) and put others first; now that you’re retiring (congratulations!) and pondering at this point in life whether a new puppy is practical, you’re getting in your own way by focusing on how it might eventually affect others. Instead let’s consider how a puppy would benefit you.

Dogs are good for us in many ways. They inspire routine in your day and provide companionship, which is especially important when we’re living on our own. They encourage activity like walks and play time, which is increasingly important to maintain as we age. And that’s not to mention all the health benefits of having dogs, like their potential to lower blood pressure and even extend the human lifespan.

So instead of worrying about what might happen down the road, think about what will make you happy now. And I think we know what that is: a sweet, lovable, playful furball. Will it be inconvenient and a lot of work? Sure! But it will also be a whole lot of fun and bring you joy, and never have you deserved to lead with your own contentment more than at this point in your life.

Wayne says:

And what about that poor little poodle puppy who needs a good home? And your brokenhearted poodle who misses having a sibling? You sound like an amazing dog mom and this situation sounds like a no-brainer — pick up the pup!

Easy for me to say, right? Puppies can be a pain, two dogs double the responsibilities, and there’s always the issue of who takes care of the dogs when you aren’t around, whether that’s travel or health issues, or you just can’t get home for a long chunk of a busy day. So after you and the new crew get settled, consider expanding your pack even more. No, not another dog. But more dog friends and dog dates, more dogsitters and dogwalkers, more of a network of friends and supporters who take this journey with you and your dogs.

That way, you and your pups are covered by a crew of dog-friendly buddies who will happily care for your dogs like they would their own. And as for unexpected emergencies, plan for your dogs just like you are likely planning for everything else that’s important and valuable to you as you enter a certain age bracket: Determine who would love to take care of them if you no longer can, and who your dogs will be most happy with if they aren’t with you. Have the talk and iron it out before it becomes an issue.

For now: Don’t overthink this. That puppy will be so lucky to have you and a big sibling, and your heart will be full with a home buzzing with dog energy again. Enjoy the puppy and poodle time!

[Dogs can smell human stress, and it bums them out, study indicates]

[Asking Eric: Retired seniors struggle to make close friendships in their new community]

[Simple ways to make your older dog’s life better and safer]