Dear Annie: I live with bipolar disorder, which I was first diagnosed with in the early 1990s. My husband and I got together after my diagnosis, and he has been my biggest support through everything -- navigating different providers, raising my children (not his) who also had their challenges and helping me stay stable.
There have been tough times when I felt guilty for the toll my illness has taken on him. He didn’t sign up for this life, yet he’s had to watch me struggle through hospitalizations, legal troubles during severe psychotic episodes and multiple diagnoses before we found the right one.
I do my best to manage my illness -- staying on my medication, working with my mental health team and attending support groups. But recently, I had a stroke that worsened my symptoms and led to another hospitalization earlier this year. This severely tested our marriage in every way: physically, emotionally, financially and socially.
If it weren’t for support systems like my providers, medications and groups like NAMI, we might not have made it. I know my husband needs time and space for himself, too. No one can be everything to someone, and I do my best to let him know how much I appreciate his love and support.
How can I ensure that my husband feels supported and cared for in our marriage while I continue to manage my illness? How can we keep our relationship strong despite these ongoing challenges?
-- Wanting to Do More
Dear Wanting: You’re already doing exactly what you need to do. Your letter is filled with gratitude and love for your husband, and that’s one of the best ways to make someone feel appreciated, cared for and seen.
Thank you for sharing your story; it’s both heartfelt and inspiring. I hope it serves as a reminder to others in similar situations that they can lean on their loved ones and that there is hope and help on the other side of challenging times.