Q: I’m in a leadership role, managing big projects and mentoring staff, and I genuinely care about my team. I’m working hard to support them and drive progress, but the internal politics and lack of formal power make it tough to create real change.
I often feel undervalued and isolated without a supervisor or peers at my level, and I worry that I come across as high-strung. I ruminate over decisions and struggle to sleep because I can’t stop worrying about making things smoother for my team and doing the right thing.
How can I build my confidence, handle the stress and navigate these challenges without burning out?
- Caring, But Powerless
A: Your feelings of powerlessness might actually be reinforcing your “high-strung” behaviors. You are turning to rumination, anxiety and potentially even micromanaging - all to give yourself a false sense of control. So while your feelings of powerlessness may be rooted in systemic issues within your organization, you should be honest with yourself about how you may be reinforcing these issues on your team.
You are only as good in your work and to your team as you are to yourself. If you burn out, you can’t be an advocate for your team. Accept your limitations and what you can and cannot control in the workplace. It’s important to find ways to feel empowered to support your team while also being honest about what you can’t single-handedly change. Focusing on what your (realistic) role can be will help you feel less responsible for everything, because the truth is: You are operating under the same system, with the same barriers. Be kind to yourself.
You may not have “formal power” but there are other influential ways to be a managerial ally. For one, creating psychological safety for your staff is about transparency. How can you be more transparent about decision-making processes? You also want to offer various ways to receive feedback and be open to hearing from your team so they can be comfortable talking with you. Even if you can’t fix their problems, you can be a sounding board and nurture their autonomy to make informed decisions for themselves. Finally, you can advocate for your staff to the people who do have formal power. This may mean building relationships with others in your organization and contributing your insights and proposing solutions to higher management when appropriate.
If you are overworking to compensate for your lack of power, incorporate more work-life balance into your week. Find tangible ways to improve your mental health and wellness in your daily life. Also, seek out support for yourself. There may be other supervisors in your organization you can lean on who understand your dilemma. Or you may need to look outside your organization and find mentors or support in professional organizations. Developing your own professional development can help you build confidence - especially with the unknown or limited “power” you do have.
Q: My affinity group is going through a lot of dysfunction - it all boils down to an insular, cult-mentality kind of vibe. They refuse to organize with anyone who doesn’t share our exact (very niche) politics. However, we’re a political education group, and this really bogs us down … especially when we’re also dealing with weekly events, high-maintenance guest speakers, conflicts over branding in our newsletter, activist burnout, and more. One member, in particular, gets under my skin; she doesn’t want to promote events because of fears about law enforcement showing up, even though the events in question are literally discussion groups.
I’m the point person for promotion, but I’ve basically been kept from doing my job for any event I didn’t conceptualize and host because my fellow organizers think small ideological differences = mortal enemies. We have to coalition-build to meet any of our goals, and everyone’s aware in theory but gets ornery whenever I try to help out.
I did bring this up at a meeting, and it turns out most people agree with me and think we need to reach out to the community; there are just a few very outspoken people who don’t. When new people show up, everyone’s kind but standoffish. What should I do to help those people see reason and get my affinity group off the ground? Or, should I just get off this slowly sinking ship?
- Organizer With A Problem
A: You have to decide how much energy you want to put into this. There are an array of things you could do, but only you can determine if you want to do them. I consider approaching this “dysfunctional” group as the same if one were to approach a dysfunctional family.
Organizational ineffectiveness can make burnout worse. So my question back to you is: Are there agreed upon practices for how the group is run, how decisions are made, and even to whom specific roles are delegated? Streamlined expectations, processes, and roles are the number one way to stay on track regardless of people’s differing opinions because they establish norms for how the group is run, but also for how differences and disagreements can be resolved.
If you aren’t ready to jump ship, you could organize a meeting to discuss what you’re noticing within the group - being respectful yet specific. Picking one specific thing can help you stay focused, especially if chaotic members tend to bring up other things - straying from the topic at hand. Remember: You can always have more conversations.
You could also approach the few people who are outspoken and have differing views with curiosity. This may sound like, “I am hearing you disagree with [x]. Our goal is to [x], so how would you suggest we work toward that?” By putting the onus back on them, you are reminding them of the mission of the group while encouraging them to help problem-solve rather than just problem-name.
Ultimately, be honest with yourself about what you’re willing to tolerate and when others are not willing to change. It’s okay to decide it’s no longer worth it. Leaving does not mean you failed. Knowing when to walk away is as important as knowing when to confront an issue head on.