DEAR MISS MANNERS: I learned, as a child in an all-right-handed family, to set the table with the knife and spoon on the right and the fork on the left. Since I gave birth to a left-handed child, I have come to notice the many ways left-handed people must cope with right-handed products and systems, such as spiral notebooks and writing from left to right.
I see that manufacturers have started producing notebooks especially for left-handers. Would it not be a kindness to set the place for a left-hander with the knife and spoon on the left and the fork on the right? Would that be considered bad manners?
GENTLE READER: This might prove confusing, since many have their own method or make the switch themselves. Better, Miss Manners suggests, to focus on seating them on the outside left corner -- so that they can eat without fear of jabbing their dinner companions.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the protocol in responding to a “joke” that is repeated ad nauseam?
I have a co-worker who says, each and every time she returns from the office restroom, “Gee, I forgot my coat and gloves!” or “I forgot to bring my parka!” or some other inane comment referencing the temperature of the bathroom.
Yes, it is cold in our office bathroom. I don’t think my co-workers and I should have to politely smile/laugh/agree with her every single day, multiple times per day. The obvious solution is to ignore her, which I do. My co-workers are much more genteel than I am, and they smile/chuckle/nod in agreement, then roll their eyes and complain when she isn’t around.
Perhaps there is some clever thing to say to put an end to it?
GENTLE READER: Treating a joke as if it were meant seriously is the best way to defuse it. In this case, Miss Manners suggests, “Oh no! We thought we asked management to fix that. If you need to borrow a blanket, though, I think I have one in my car.”
Eventually your would-be comedian will get tired of explaining the “humor” to you -- and find another target.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Even before the pandemic, I worked from my home office. Most of my meetings are online.
Due to medication that I must take, I often experience thirst and dry mouth, the latter making it difficult to speak. I always have water or tea at my desk to sip during meetings.
I’ve noticed that no one else ever seems to do this. I don’t make a big show of it; I’m not chugging anything. I don’t have a large, showy beverage or bottle. It’s just about being comfortable, as perhaps someone giving a lecture might do. Am I making an etiquette error here?
GENTLE READER: Frankly, it is far more shocking that no one else in your meetings has a beverage. Large, showy water bottles are a national trend right now.
But Miss Manners sees no reason not to keep your modest one -- with the caveat, perhaps, that if your gulping or swallowing itself is large and showy, you mute yourself before taking a drink.