Dear Annie: For the past 10 years, my husband and I have enjoyed dining out with a couple of our friends, always splitting the check evenly. Recently, we embraced sobriety and no longer consume the expensive drinks that significantly add to the bill. Despite this, we continue to split the check evenly, which doesn’t seem quite fair.
We value our friendship and enjoy our time together, but we are unsure how to approach this topic. We don’t want to look cheap, but we also want to be fair. Is it weird, rude or impolite to request that we each pay for our own meals and drinks moving forward?
-- Sober and Confused
Dear Sober and Confused: How much more are we talking that they drink? If it’s one or two drinks, then I would let it go. It’s nice to treat your friends. If you really feel like you are being treated unfairly, you could always order an extra side or dessert, but I think that would be petty.
If this really bothers you, why not ask the waiter to give you two bills -- one for you and your husband and one for your friends? If they ask why you changed, just be honest and explain the reason. You’re not drinking anymore. And congratulations for that!
Dear Annie: I run a small bed and breakfast in a very small, rural, up-and-coming town. We have recently had a number of guests who are in their 90s who have had health issues or injuries while staying with us. This has me very much on edge.
Many of these folks have grown up in this town and want to come back to visit family or see the many new developments in our town. While this is lovely, I believe the travel and unfamiliar surroundings can make some elderly people very out of sorts. We do not want to age discriminate, but we are concerned that people might endanger themselves by coming here, especially if not with other family or friends.
What is the kindest way I can determine if a guest can handle the travel? I don’t want anyone getting hurt or worse.
Thank you.
-- The Innkeeper
Dear Innkeeper: There is no kind way to tell people based on their age that they cannot stay with you; that (SET ITAL)is(END ITAL) age discrimination. While your concerns are real, a young person or a baby could get injured at your bed and breakfast, too.
If you are that concerned, you could consult an attorney about creating a document that would protect your bed and breakfast from any liability. But what is this town where so many people live to their 90s? No wonder it is up-and-coming!