Dear Annie: I get my car detailed at a business near the beach in Los Angeles. When I took my car there, I meant to move the spare change that I kept for parking meters and laundry out of the car, but I did not. I forgot.
When I got my car back, there were about $8 in quarters missing, but dimes, nickels and pennies were left behind. I emailed the owner the next day.
The owner called me and apologized and refunded the full price of my car detail. I told him the full refund was not necessary and that I wanted to let him know what had happened. Because I had used the word “steal” in my email, he took offense to that.
I replied on the phone that the money was gone after I got my car back.
He said he wished me well and I replied, “Are you saying you don’t want to do business with me anymore?”
Now I feel bad in a situation where I did nothing wrong and was trying to alert him to a problem with his workers at his business.
What do I do now, or what should I have done earlier, in this situation?
-- Suffering While Trying to Help
Dear Suffering: I’m not exactly sure why you declined his refund for your car detailing. It sounds like the owner of the business just wanted the facts of what had happened -- and not your opinion about how the employees should be dealt with. The next time you have your car detailed, I would recommend thanking the owner for the way he handled the missing quarters and then letting it go.
Dear Annie: We are parents of four and grandparents of nine. Yes, certainly our grandchildren are much busier than ever. I felt eating nutritious meals together as a family was more important than running around all the time. We did limit activities and did not believe they had to sign up for everything. While we truly enjoy being part of our grandchildren’s lives, we still have other obligations. Yes, we do help with child care and are very involved. We have learned to say no sometimes, and our children are OK with that.
Dear Boundaries: I’m printing your letter because I’m a huge advocate for honest communication and everyone setting their own personal boundaries. In the end, it will make relationships more harmonious.