Last week I went to a hole and stayed there for a long time before finally figuring out how to escape.
The hole was not part of the landscape. It was more Facebook-shaped — basically a vortex —whirling with the anger, sadness, and helplessness that gripped many people in our country in light of horrific violence of the week. I dug myself pretty deep into that hole because I found myself unable and unwilling to look away from news and interpretations of that news. I was distracted at work, with my family and even when I went to hang out with friends.
At first opportunity, I'd sit on my couch, pull out my phone and frown deeply as I used my thumb to scroll and dig in further.
In my lifetime, I've seen enough from glowing monitors that I often experience numbness when I hear about news, even when presented in a visually compelling way. My senses are overloaded. I am bombarded with things to respond to, and the part of my brain that's evolved to protect me from pain frequently says "enough."
Although I didn't have all of my own solutions by week's end, I finally figured out how to dig myself out. Turns out, being outside — literally and figuratively — is a good place to start when you're grappling with things.
A warning sign
Typically, I don't read books written for small children. But last week, I finally started a review I'd been asked to write of a children's book by Alaska author Jen Funk Weber.
I found myself poring over the illustrations, maybe not unlike the kids for whom the book was written. The artwork, by Washington artist Andrea Gabriel, featured beautiful watercolor outdoor landscapes and two kids walking through them. Maybe this happens a lot for parents of small children, but I was surprised at how much I enjoyed being immersed in the book.
Actually, I was probably a bit too excited. But my eyes felt better looking at the colorful illustrations. My mind seemed changed too, becoming a little more relaxed and open. The natural scenes were a brief day spa for my addled brain.
It was a beautiful book, to be sure, but this was my first warning sign that I probably needed to do something for my mental health other than continue to consume news.
Dragging myself out
A study published last year by Stanford in "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences" showed that going for nature walks could reduce "rumination." Rumination, according to the study, is "a maladaptive pattern of self-referential thought that is associated with heightened risk for depression and other mental illnesses."
I never considered rumination a bad thing. According to Merriam Webster, the definition is simply "to think carefully and deeply about something." I've always loved going outside because it gives me time to do that in a world that increasingly demands my brain work faster. I call it "brooding" and it usually involves long walks to sort out my thoughts.
However, in psychology, rumination is seen as more of a hamster wheel — one thought loops, catches and is associated with a negative emotion and starts to run, reinforcing that thought over and over. There's an obsessive element.
We've all been there. Someone said something at work. An offhand comment was made. Then comes rumination. What follows is maybe an evening ruined or somehow drowned out (alcohol, TV, burritos — some of my favorite drown-out tools).
Apparently one antidote is found in nature. The study showed that walks in urban environments didn't provide the same benefits as walking in a place that allowed for "soft fascination." That sounds hokey to me, but at the same time I get it.
The more my eyes have become used to looking at hard letters and back-lit screens during the week, I've appreciated looking at things outside that have nothing to do with me.
Flowers, trees, rivers, mountains and ideally all of those things combined into one experience are humbling because they're not human; they're not man-made. Natural scenes are visually quieter, set apart. I can look at a landscape and feel both calm and grateful, and I feel my body and brain calm down particularly in times of stress. Apparently, science agrees.
A Japanese study led by Yoshifumi Miyazaki at Chiba University, cited by a National Geographic article published in January, demonstrated that a 15-minute walk in the woods causes measurable changes in physiology.
According to the article by Florence Williams, "Forest walkers hit a relaxation jackpot: Overall they showed a 16 percent decrease in the stress hormone cortisol, a 2 percent drop in blood pressure, and a 4 percent drop in heart rate.
"Our senses are adapted to interpret information about plants and streams … not traffic and high-rises."
By the end of last week, I went hiking, trail running and swimming in an open lake and, after consuming outrageously loaded burgers to make up for what I am sure was an extreme caloric deficit, I flopped down on my back in a friend's grassy backyard.
I looked up and I saw blue sky, sun and trees. I didn't feel numbed. I just felt that I was more in myself, which is a better position to start any project — including wrestling with and hopefully changing the man-made world for the better, even when it feels overwhelming.
Alli Harvey lives, works and plays in Anchorage.