With Thanksgiving interrupting the regularly scheduled shenanigans of the youths of Wasilla, I had to turn to some unusual channels to entertain myself this long holiday weekend. I don't know why MTV thinks families don't want to digest turkey while watching "Slednecks," but here's what else is happening in the world of Alaska reality TV.
On Sunday the Travel Channel aired a program called "Only Happens In" and the episode was about Alaska. The show featured many "only in Alaska…" (said with a head shake, eye roll and sly smile) moments: the Talkeetna Wilderness Woman Competition (which was full of familiar Anchorage faces), the Sitka Herring fishery, sled dog pizza delivery in Cordova, the Iditarod Trail Invitational and Star the reindeer.
Just in case you forgot the title of the show, they made sure to remind you that this stuff "only happens in Alaska" every other second. It seems like just about every Alaska reality program could be called "only happens in Alaska" (said with a head shake, eye roll and sly smile).
Also Sunday, History aired a new program called "Alaska Off-Road Warriors," bringing Alaska programming up an extreme notch. Quick aside: Why is this show on History? Actually, nothing on History has anything to do with history. "Ax Men," "Mountain Men," "Down East Dickering" and "Swamp People" are all shows on History. I'm going to start a change.org petition to rename it the Camo Channel.
The show's premise is pretty simple: Drive your fancy SUV from the Kenai up to Deadhorse and the first team to get there wins $100,000. There are two people in each car and they carry only stuff that fits in their rig.
There are five teams of two competing in the race: four Alaska teams and one team from Seattle. So, of course, the narrative on the show is all about Alaska vs. the Lower 48. Of course, there are fights about how the Seattle team doesn't "respect the land." And of course, people saying things like "it's one thing being an American, it's another thing being an Alaskan."
"Alaska Off-Road Warriors" was surprisingly entertaining for someone who doesn't care, not even a little bit, not at all, about off-roading. Why do you ask?
Answer: Butch. (See photo.)
Butch is the kind of person who was destined to be on television. He's "the navigator" in his car, which seems to mean he cracks jokes and moves trees around when they are in the way. He reminds of a Farley character, but I think he's real. He also reminds us of the ever-important lesson: "Guys with mullets get it done."
Butch and his teammate finish in second place for both legs of the competition in the first episode.
As the owner of a 2003 Chevy Tracker that is made mostly of plastic and duct tape, I'm ready to go next season, if History needs me.
Finally, gossip time. Season three of "Ultimate Survival Alaska" will begin airing in January. This is great news because many of last season's survivalists are back. Iditarod champ and future Alaska governor Dallas Seavey will be back. Also, two of the military dudes and Marty Raney's chest hair will all return. The only reason I know this is I ran into them at the Millennium Hotel last spring before filming began, something that would "only happen in Alaska…"
Emily Fehrenbacher lives in Anchorage, where she reviews Alaska reality TV and can be reached at play@adn.com (subject line: Reality Check).