Men's Health recently advised its loyal readers of eight surefire ways to flirt without saying a word.
Wait, what? You mean, you can get the girl (or guy) without even talking!? This had to excite men everywhere; it certainly caught Wayne and Wanda's attention. They flipped through the msn.com slideshow, read what Bucknell University psychology professor Joel Wade had to say -- and, of course, had to chime in.
The eight tactics are:
1. Spread out: By lounging in a relaxed way, with arms draped over chairs or spread open, you look like you "convey control of personal and physical space," and women see you as dominant -- and ergo, more attractive.
Wanda says: Or, I think, "Wow, that guy sure slouches. And looks lazy. And has bad posture. And is doing creepy things with his arms." I can't recall ever being into a guy because his quite-literal open arms drew me in. Although there is something appealing about a guy who looks comfortable in his own skin and conveys a vibe that is laid-back and cool.
Wayne says: Yeah, there's certainly a big difference between confidently chilling and unattractively slacking. And here's the kicker: If you aren't comfortable doing either, your vibe will come off as "bad actor" instead of "cool guy." Don't try so hard and don't spread yourself into spread eagle.
2. Open up: Translation: Don't cross your arms. Women think you're more "attractive, active and persuasive" that way. Sit and stand with your arms and legs open and apart.
Wanda says: As I was saying, who wants a guy who is stressed and tense? Crossed arms do convey a certain tightly wound sternness. It's a posture many of us default to when we're nervous. So, dudes, next time you find yourself standing like a closed fist, take a deep breath, relax, and do quite literally open up. Women may notice.
Wayne says: Hey, when the ladies are around and the sun's out, you gotta bring the guns out. But you can't show off the goods if you're all twisted into eagle pose. Yeah, I do yoga. Anyway, besides holding an engaging posture, a big part of feeling comfortable and cool is dressing comfortable and cool. And if that means showing off the biceps a little, hey, what are you gonna do?
3. Dial down your smile: Men, if you smile too broadly, women will think you are feminine and timid. Lose the perma-grin.
Wayne says: Yeah, because the menacing mean-mug works every time, right? So you're trying to tell me that if I'm hanging with my boys and we're all serious talking about taxes and global warming, the women will start flocking? I, like most people, am drawn to people who are having a good time, not taking themselves too seriously and, yes, smiling.
Wanda says: Wait, huh? You're supposed to attract a woman by not smiling at her? Exactly what sort of expression is supposed to work then? Because I'll tell you what; if you're glaring at me from across the bar, I'm not coming over. There's nothing more disarming, charming and inviting than a grin from a handsome stranger.
4. Touch your guy friends: "Research" says women sense your single status and dominance when you "grab your buddy and slap his back."
Wayne says: I'm not sure if being affectionate with your homie makes other people find you attractive, but it definitely lets your friends know you care about them. "I love you man. Bring it in, bro!"
Wanda says: ?Hahahahaha.
5. Touch your face: Rubbing your chin, scratching your jaw and other gestures help emphasize your most masculine features.
Wanda says: OK, this I buy. Who doesn't find the "man in midthought" pose attractive? A man who shows physical signals of pensiveness and contemplation is a man who -- hooray! -- is showing a proclivity for intellectualism, and this is a major turn-on to many women.
Wayne says: Sorry, Wanda, but here's how the cloud above most men's heads read when they're in deep thought at a bar: "Why aren't the Mariners pinch-hitting in this situation? Is that popcorn free? I wonder if my dog is chewing on my trail runners. When is that bartender going to bring me my beer? Is that table of women really buying this?"
6. Copy her moves: Women like it when your actions subtly mimic theirs. It makes you more appealing, says Wade.
Wanda says: This makes perfect sense. I love myself. Ergo, if you remind me of me, I will love you!
Wayne says: This makes me think of mimes. And mimes are creepy. Don't be creepy.
7. Play eye tag: By looking around, you increase your chances of locking eyes with a hottie, and a potential partner is more likely to respond positively if you've already exchanged glances, Wade says. So, visually sweep the room, and if you lock eyes with a prospect, pause and enjoy the moment.
Wanda says: Eye contact with an alluring stranger can indeed be one of the most powerful nonverbal turn-ons. The moment contains multitudes. What is he thinking? Does he know me? Could this turn into something? With the right-timed eye contact, you can launch a potential partner's brain into optimistic overdrive.
Wayne says: Now this I buy. Looking directly into someone's eyes lets you be genuine, confident and vulnerable at the same time. And that moment of reciprocal eye contact is an instant chemistry gauge. You can see sparks. You can see stop signs. You can see trustworthy. And you can see crazy.
8. Now watch for her signals: If she's into you, she'll do chick things, like flip her hair, or tuck it behind her ears, or stare at you to make eye contact, or raise her eyebrows.
Wanda says: Crap. I totally do those things. Are we that easy to figure out?
Wayne says: But what if they whisper to their friends and they all laugh? That's a good sign, right?
Want to respond to a recent column, point out a dating trend, or ask Wanda and Wayne for wisdom regarding your love life? Give them a shout at wanda@alaskadispatch.com.