With the current slate of Alaska reality TV airing, you would think that networks will pick up just about any program that features shots of a menacing bear noticing the camera, a moose chomping on some trees and a crusty bearded Alaska man. However, that is not the case.
There are many shows that never make it to a second season, and some only make two episodes. Because some of these are hilarious, but mostly because I'm traveling and haven't had a chance to catch up, I would like to dedicate this column to the ones that got away.
"Alaskan Women Looking for Love" featured a handful of young women "from Kodiak" (I think most of them were actually from Anchorage) who traveled to Miami to live in a sweet beach house, get drunk, find a man worth husbanding and bring him back to Alaska. It was filled with classic fish-out-of-water moments; they'd go to "da club" wearing Xtratufs and wonder why people were staring at them.
I watched this show, and despite the heavy hand of producers clearly casting men into their lives, I found it hilarious. I still follow some of these ladies on Twitter. Tina (@Alaskan_Tina) was apparently on a new show called "My Crazy Love" on Oxygen. The tagline for her episode is as follows: "When a hot guy approaches her at the bar, Tina is overwhelmed and pretends to be deaf." Yes. I am all in on this; that sounds amazing.
"Alaskan Gold Diggers" was another fish-out-of-water show, but in the exact reverse of "Alaskan Women." It followed four sisters on their journey from Southern California to Alaska, as they try to reopen their grandfather's historic gold mine. It aired on Animal Planet, but if one is inclined, one could purchase all six episodes on Amazon Instant Video for $1.99 an episode. According to the show's Facebook page, "Gold Diggers" aired in India over the summer. A lot of canceled shows still air overseas, keeping their Internet presence going and keeping us #blessed.
"Flying Wild Alaska" was pretty popular a few years ago, and it followed the Tweto family, who owned Era Alaska (now Ravn Alaska). "Flying Wild" took place mostly in Unalakleet, and was generally the good kind of bad TV. I remember watching an episode in which they had to deliver a casket for a funeral in Unalakleet that was sad, interesting and heartwarming at the same time, which is the most you can hope for with reality TV.
The Twetos got three seasons from 2011 to 2012, and now Ariel (the breakout star of "Flying Wild") is living in Hollywood and kind of famous (she has almost 50,000 Facebook likes and 30,000 Twitter followers). She was recently on Craig Ferguson's show, being charming, though I'm not sure why she was a guest.
There are so many other canceled shows I'd like to get into, like "Hook Line and Sisters," which was the predecessor to "Battle on the Bay"; "Big Hair Alaska," about Sarah Palin's hairdresser in Wasilla, and "Mounted in Alaska," which chronicled the goings-on of a taxidermy shop. This will just have to become a regular semi-regular column topic.
But let's end with some gossip about another show that left us too soon. According to Twitter (America's most reliable source out there), Trevor and Tosca, Wasilla's "Slednecks" "sweethearts," broke off their engagement. Who knew that relationships that start on booze-filled television shows don't always work out?
Emily Fehrenbacher lives in Anchorage, where she reviews Alaska reality TV and can be reached at play@alaskadispatch.com (subject line: Reality Check).