Joe Miller's political future in Alaska is, not to put too fine a point on it, deader than Alabama roadkill. Draw a chalk line around it and call somebody to clean it up. The worst part? Miller insists on killing it even deader.
Here's a guy who started his Senate election campaign lying about Sen. Lisa Murkowski's record, and it went downhill from there. He was desperately wrong on too many issues to count, stopping just shy of declaring the Constitution unconstitutional. He was as senatorial as Daffy Duck.
That was before he tanked in the general election to Murkowski's historic write-in campaign. Did Miller concede and congratulate her? Does watching a Sean Parnell speech send shivers down your spine?
In a political tantrum after Murkowski's unlikely long-shot victory, Miller kicked and screamed, hired lawyers and went to court to undo what the idiot voters had done. He complained the state mishandled the ballots; that there were irregularities, skulduggery and outright mopery; that votes for her had to be cast with her name spelled exactly, perfectly right despite law, regulations and court opinions to the contrary. It was, he said, just so, so unfair, but the upshot was this: If every single ballot Miller challenged was tossed out, he still would lose by more than 2,000 votes. Even though he has tripped over every court hurdle, he says he is plowing ahead on principle to the bitter end -- or, some suspect, until the cash runs out.
Theories about why Miller is continuing his quixotic quest -- using money and support from the likes of South Carolina's Jim DeMint, an archconservative who does not have Alaska's interests at heart -- abound and are often deliciously vicious.
One is that DeMint, a tea party poster boy who despised the late Sen. Ted Stevens, Alaska and now Murkowski, is doing whatever is necessary to pack the Senate with his ilk. (I mean that in a nice way.) He tried and failed to dump Murkowski as senior Republican on the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee to bury her and her pinko, compromising ways. DeMint simply is using Miller, raising money for him, for his own ends.
Another theory -- my favorite -- is that Miller has decided to turn the post-election legal drama into a cash enterprise, paying himself handsomely as he flails away at the Division of Elections. It's worked so far. Miller had about $900,000 in late November, including $250,000 he raised after the election, most of it from DeMint.
Yet another theory is that Miller is nuts. Maybe.
Somebody should tell him none of this is doing him any good, no matter his reasons. One of the fantasies his supporters embraced like grim death in the election was that if Murkowski would have the decency to lie down and quit, she would be loved by all and could run in a few years against Sen. Mark Begich and win. The utter insanity of all that seemingly never occurred to them.
Some might be tempted today to suggest the same thing to Miller: that he should stop all his post-election court shenanigans and await his chance to strut his stuff against Begich, who makes Murkowski look like a John Bircher. He could trot out the Constitution again, polish up that Bronze Star and find new things to hide from the pesky media. He could make pronouncements and haunt national TV.
Believe me, many Alaskans would shed nary a tear if Begich were a one-term senator. The problem? Begich is a smart, polished, political animal who knows his stuff. Even those of us who disagree with him and each other on virtually everything agree on that. He also has a practiced political organization that has done a successful election or two. Begich seldom makes bonehead mistakes, or gets caught, and journalists are relatively safe around him. He would slaughter Miller, who would present a laughably easy target -- a guy with ethical problems and not much interest in what is best for Alaska, which includes ensuring that Murkowski is seated before Jan. 5 or be put at risk of losing her seniority.
Miller's record, his exposure as a self-confessed liar, his antics, his signing on with anti-Alaska forces and his post-election nuttiness pretty much ensure his days in Alaska politics are numbered. Too bad he did not get it earlier.
Somebody hand me the chalk.
Paul Jenkins is editor of the Anchorage Daily Planet.
PAUL JENKINS
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